Memoirs of a Hufflepuff
by mylongbottoms
Summary: Sirius Black is the bane of my existence. And yet I can't get enough of him? I'm counting down the hours until we meet again. I find myself besotted and attracted to one of the most popular Gryffindors in Hogwarts. As my friend Archie says, don't lions eat little badgers for breakfast? Welcome to my life- where Sirius Black is the main event and I'm the village idiot.
1. Drunk? Never!

As Helga Hufflepuff once said; _I embark on a journey, not only of self-discovery but of friendships and adventures. I may find myself or encounter new friends along the way. One thing for certain: I will never be the same._ That, my friends, is what came to mind when I collapsed into the toilet stall, positively wasted. I don't know why I had that sudden thought in my head, maybe it was because I felt dizzy and faint, but super excited and giddy at the same time because… well, because I was drunk and I got excited over stupid little things. Oor maybe I was just… I don't even know? Helga Hufflepuff is one of my rolemodels and she's fantastic.

I had gotten all tingly from just meeting the gaze of Stephen White, who had been looking devilishly handsome in his white collared shirt and black jeans, might I add. He had caught my eye and had given me the most enchanting smile; I was so tempted to just walk up to him in a daze because I could just**feel **the chemistry that was bubbling between us.

That was when I got all hot and flustered and suddenly needed to pee and practically ran into the toilets. My mind was in a blur and my eyes couldn't focus at all.

The toilet doors suddenly opened and someone walked in from the party. I could hear their shoes rushing violently towards the sink, they burped and then vomited everywhere. I stopped myself from letting out an 'eeeewwww' as I realised I was almost at this poor girl's stage, and I was also sat on a toilet seat, which most people would find unhygienic. A groan was the only notion that they were alive minutes after, their face still buried in the sink.

The person started to move and wavered slightly, holding onto the sink for support. I stood up when the person began to wobble once more but at that moment they turned around. I was staring at Sirius Black.

He seemed a bit shocked at seeing me, he opened his mouth to say something but closed it after a few seconds of him just standing there gormless. He brought one hand to his head and moved the hair out of his face.

"You do know you're in the boys toilets, right?" His question took me by surprise.

"What?" I spluttered as I tripped out of my cubicle.

"You're in the boys toilets." He laughed a little, obviously finding my panic amusing.

"Don't be ridiculous!" I said in a high squeaky voice, my heart rapidly beating against my chest as Black's eyes shone with such delight.

As if on cue a boy suddenly entered the toilets and if felt like my world had suddenly slowed down where every second that ticked was a minute and the sound of a clock was just incessantly ticking in my head. Black looked like Christmas had just come early and watched with glee as this boy walked straight towards the long line of urinals that I _only now_ noticed. I heard the sound of a zipper and wondered if there was any way I could evaporate from the situation, Black's elated face told me there was no way.

It felt a bit strange to be watching a boy pee with no other than Black, but I guess that's just one of life's lemons right? For a moment all we could hear was the sigh from the boy, he had obviously been holding it in for a rather a long time, until Black thought it wise to scare the boy shitless.

He coughed, rather loudly. A few things then happened all at once… the boy yelped out in surprise, Black vomited again on the floor and all over his feet and I stood there gormless once again as the boy turned around.

I was staring at Remus Lupin's flipping DICK. And he did not look very happy.

"_SIRIUS_. WHY DID YOU BRING A GIRL INTO THE BOY'S TOILETS? COULD YOU NOT FIND ANYWHERE ELSE?!"

"I was…" I realised that no words were coming out of my mouth. Lupin had now fixed his trousers and was very red in the face, from anger and humiliation, and Black, now that he had stopped throwing up, was cackling.

"I was uh, just… leaving?" I sent Lupin an apologetic look that he either ignored or did not receive at all as he unceremoniously shouted at Black and even took out his wand. I heard the words to a jelly leg jinx as the door closed behind me.

My first thought was to run, as fast as I could, away from the party, somewhere that Lupin and Black would never be able to find me. Unfortunately for me the night had only begun, even though it was already past midnight and the night had ended… technically.

Stephen White was suddenly in front of me and was catching me as I wobbled towards him. Thank God for those Quidditch muscles of his, thank the Queen and Helga Hufflepuff for the awesome Quidditch keeper he was.

"Lyons! Did you just come out of the boys toilets?" His voice sent shivers up and down my body but I tried to remain calm.

"No." I said in a rushed voice, a weak trickle of laughter following. "Why would I even - "

"Do you wanna go outside for a bit, fresh air and all? We could - " He handed me a bottle of butterbeer and smiled at me in a way that I had only dreamed of during my years here.

I said yes before he had even finished, but he didn't seem to mind at all. The room of requirement was heaving with students and the air was so hot and sweaty as people from all different houses and years celebrated the start to our new year.

As we left I caught eyes with Black, who seemed to be fully recovered now as he whispered in a girl's ear. He couldn't help but grin at me, sending me a wink as Stephen took hold of my hand to get through the crowd. I made a face at him and walked past him.

"You excited for the new school year, Lyons?" He smirked at me as he leaned against the balcony. The cold September wind was ferocious as it whistled along its merry way, causing Stephen's cheeks to be rosier than usual.

"Super-duper excited." My voice was dripping in sarcasm as I groaned and kicked a small stone with my foot. Why the heck was there a stone in the astronomy tower?

"At least Hufflepuff have a good chance of winning the cup this year, especially with Reynolds as the captain. We were so fucking close to winning last year, Ravenclaw had better watch it this year." Whenever he talked about Quidditch his eyes would light up as if you just said to him that he could have every Cadbury chocolate bar in the world for free. I loved Quidditch, it's a fascinating game and it became a favourite of mine along with football (Manchester united were my babies), but I never understood how a guy can talk about Quidditch so much?

Stephen's voice brought me back to reality. He was standing over me, or rather trying not to wobble - a lot of people had had one too many fire whiskies – and seemed to be frowning.

"What's the matter?" I laughed, he looked adorable and yet kinda stupid at the same time.

"There's this really pretty girl and she seems to be too busy thinking about things instead of talking to me." His whispers were sending shivers down my spine as he walked closer towards me. His hot hands brushed the tops of my shoulders and then ran down my arms slowly before taking hold of my hand. His thumb rubbing against my palm made my head spin out of control.

"Oh." Was all I could mutter out. Sure, me and Stephen were in the same house and had talked a few times and we were sorta friends… and I did have an amazingly massive crush on him…. But I had never had an inclination that he had liked me back?

It was then that he kissed me. I want to say that it was like a movie kiss, where a low harp and piano classical piece plays gently in the background and that there's fireworks erupting everywhere as he tenderly cups holds of my cheeks and says 'You look so beautiful'. It was exactly the opposite.

We were both so drunk and so horny that we kinda just fell onto each other. Having had no other experience prior, yes – Stephen fucking White was my first kiss, HALLELUJAH! – I was at a loss as to what to do with my hands and ended up just folding them across my chest. He stumbled into and got hold of my waist and pulled me onto the balcony fence, engulfing me so that I was forced to put my hands on his chest whilst he wound both arms round my waist.

My mind was so hazy and everything was going so fast; he was breathing heavily and seemed to be so into it but at the back of my mind there was this doubt and confusion about why it wasn't making me feel like I had romanticised.  
>He still seemed to be so wobbly on his feet and for a second loosened his hold on my waist... but at the same time he was still kissing me so ferociously. I could feel myself slipping from the wall but all I managed to do was give out a little squeak before I felt myself topple over the balcony. I was hanging, my knickers on show to the whole of bloody Scotland and my crush, off the bloody astronomy tower.<p>

"SHIT!" He managed to grab hold of my legs and for a second he let me dangle there.

"PULL ME UP RIGHT NOW OR I SWEAR TO MERLIN I WILL - "

He pulled me back quickly and with so much force that I bumped into him. He lost his balance and crashed into the floor, with me landing ungraciously over the top of him. I had just seen my life flash before my eyes. I was shaking and I could feel the adrenaline rushing through me mixed with the alcohol… I couldn't help it. I then vomited all over his shirt.

"Oh my God... I'm... Stephen, I'm so sorry?" I WAS HORRIFIED. He looked up at me, laughing.

"I don't suppose you want to be my girlfriend, do you?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: New fic idea... let me know what you guys think! All recognisable characters are owned by the wonderful JK Rowling! <strong>


	2. Broom Cupboards

_Sorry this chapter is late! Hahah, took me ages to figure out how to start it, but then as soon as I sat down today I couldn't stop writing! Next chapter up soon! JKR owns all of HP world._

Broom cupboards- Chapter Two

_Gryffindors. _The word annoys me. I hate the colour red, I hate fire, I hate boldness. I hate how I would to sit through Transfiguration, three times a week, with the Gryffindors. WHY? Professor McGonagall, too, annoys me. Teachers weren't supposed to have favourites but sometimes I can see the little gleam in her eye when she finds someone who's not a Gryffindor doing mischief.

"Cheer up, Gwen," Archie says next to me as I stop outside the classroom. "It's only the first day, I doubt Minnie's gonna set loads of homework."

He pulls my arm into the classroom and we work our way to the back row. McGonagall had the nasty habit of picking on students when they weren't listening (but you guessed, it never seemed to be a Gryffindor? HA! I'm onto you, Professor) but if you ducked down your head and pretended to be writing then she'd never suspect that you weren't listening.

"It's the fact that it's with the Gryffindors," Ella laughs, sitting down next to Archie. "They're Gwen's bane, remember?"

Archie makes a whooping sound and leans on the back legs of his chair, rocking back and forth as he speaks. "Ah yes! The terrifying Gryffindors, the lions who eat little badgers for breakfast, lunch and dinner and-"

He stops suddenly when he sees my glare and flashes me a sheepish smile. He sets his bag onto the floor and gets out the Transfiguration class book.

For a few minutes we sit in silence, flicking through the pages of the book and dreading what sort of spells were almost upon us. Transfiguration was definitely not my strong point… I barely passed my exams last year and the only reason I did was because Archie stayed up night after night with me and quizzed me on everything until my head hurt. It was a painful few days but he's the reason why I made it this far.

"Although," His voice springs through the air again and I look up in annoyance, only to find him grinning. "If one of the lions do try and eat you… you'll have a bigger badger to save you." Archie is considerably taller than me but what he gained in height he definitely lacked in other areas- he is not a sport fanatic (being a pureblood he was thankful he didn't have to live with countless muggle sports) and loved animals and loved the colour pink and was very clean.

"If you think you're the bigger badger then you're seriously deranged-"

"Not me!" He sighs dramatically and nudges Ella's shoulders urgently. Ella only shrugs, as clueless as I. "A certain Stephen White-"

I try to stop him but he's already said the name and Ella perks up with interest. "White? _The _White?" She blushes when Archie grins at her.

"Gwen's one and only crush." Archie says like I'm his daughter and he's having a proud father moment. The two of then coo at me.

"I was drunk!" My cheeks are so red and this just makes their teasing more abrupt.

"I saw you both leaving together," the traitor giggles. "Where did he take you? A broom cupboard? The Owlery? The Forbidden Forest? The Astronomy Tower?"

"I'd want to be taken to the astronomy tower," Elle mumbles a little and steals a glance at our friend, who is so oblivious and continues throwing locations at me.

My heart cries a little for her, she doesn't think I've noticed how she stares at him when she thinks no one's looking. They'd make such a cute couple but she's too scared to make the first move and he's so oblivious to her feelings. Archie's attention is still on me, he's prattling on about how Stephen looked at me throughout the party, and Elle recoils and goes back to her book.

Archie never gets his answer, the classroom door opens and ten other Hufflepuffs come into the room, I catch Stephen's gaze and he smiles at me and winks before sitting with his friends a few rows in front. We'd made a pact not to tell people yet, wanting to keep our relationship a secret before announcing it publically, and so I wasn't all too fussed that he only kept my gaze for a few seconds.

Archie frowned next to me and nodded his head towards the clatter of Hufflepuffs in the centre of the room.

"We're keeping it a bit of a secret," I mumble, embarrassed for some reason. "He doesn't want…" I trail off… he doesn't want what? Archie already knows what I'm going to say and he nods in an understanding manner. _He doesn't want to be seen with me_.

It's not that I'm an embarrassment or anything… just I've never really been part of the 'it' crowd. The Hufflepuff 'it' group is kinder than the other houses, Stephen's spoken to me on friendly terms all the time... but he's so popular because of Quidditch and he gets good marks on tests without even trying. If he was a girl I would be so jealous, but instead I'm cursed and hold onto his every word. He speaks like honey dripping slowly onto a chocolate corn flake cake. His hair is like honey too, honey and caramel and his eyes are the perfect depiction of a summer ocean twinkling in the morning sun.

A large scrape of a chair brings me back to reality. I jump and knock off one of my quills onto the floor but luckily everyone's attention is on the red-head who has just stormed into class. Evans looks like she's about to cry and her hair is _dripping wet_. It's already started to soak her robes but she holds back her tears and sits with her back up straight. The door opens again and then in walks three Gryffindor boys, some of the 'it' crowd.

Potter is laughing at something, but when he spots Evans he stops and awkwardly makes his way towards her. Lupin and Pettigrew are behind him, unsure of what their friend is about to do.

"Evans…" Potter breathes in a sigh and bites his lip slowly. "I'm err… sorry?"

His apology is not accepted, Evans just keeps staring ahead at the blank blackboard and her silence is obviously irritating him.

"It's not like it's my fault," He snaps suddenly and ignores Lupin's incessant tapping on his shoulder. "You were in the way and I tried to stop you but Peeves got to you before I could stop him. If you ask me it was a waste of prank." His words are harsh and I'm getting goosebumps just from hearing his snide tone, but once again Evans ignores him and just shrugs her shoulders. I'm inwardly applauding her because she's just wound up Potter more and he gives up and stomps away from her and moodily comes towards the back of the room and sits in front of our row.

Nothing else happens apart from more students coming into the room, most have toast and crisps in their hands as breakfast is almost over. And then finally McGonagall comes in, her clippityclop heels pierce my soul as she makes her way to the front and inspects us like we're bugs.

As soon as her mouth opens I'm at a loss as to what she's saying, her words just fly over the top of my head and I see her writing something down on the board. Invisible spells. I saw it whilst I was flicking through the class book, but it looked so boring and complicated so I skipped it and turned to something else. Archie pinches my side and points to the board, glaring at me until I pick up my quill and start copying down off the board.

And then the class door opens again and in casually walks Sirius Black. It's like he's aware that he's ten minutes late and doesn't even give a damn.

"Sorry Professor," His sultry voice makes a few of the girls (and boys) waver in their seats and stare at him dreamily. "I got into a bit of a pickle with Filch and Peeves."

"Not an excuse, Black. Detention tonight."

The boy shrugs and sits down next to Potter, they whisper something whilst the lesson continues and my mind goes back into a daze.

…

"Found anything yet?" Elle pops her head around the bookcase but I shake my head and put back the book.

"Nothing. I can't see it anywhere."

"Maybe because it's such a wide subject…"

We search the rows and rows of books, desperately wanting to find it. But no such luck befalls onto us. A two foot essay on invisibility spells is the new bane of my existence, as well as Gryffindors. We went straight to the library after the class had finished whilst Archie, who had taken extra classes, grumbled about our free period. I should have been paying attention in the class, but I was so distracted and therefore hardly listened to what McGonagall had been going on about.

"My new years resolution is to pay attention in class." I whisper to her, the librarian Madam Wasser has ears like a fox and always puts students in detention for speaking too loudly.

"It's September, Gwen. And you already broke it today, then."

"I mean starting from today! It's to pay more attention. What about yours?"

She shrugs her shoulders, and subconsciously tucks a piece of her hair behind her ears. I've always been jealous of her golden hair, it's so soft and slightly wavy and it just compliments her face so much. She doesn't know how much I envy her.

"Dunno." She says after a few minutes, her bottom lip is stuck out whilst she concentrates on trying to find a book about invisible spells.

I spent the whole of last year pretending that I didn't see the glances she made at Archie. She was horrendously obvious but only I, as her best friend, noticed. I was dying to tell her I knew, I wanted them to get together so badly.

"Archie?" The name left my mouth before I had even realised and she squeaked loudly as the books she was holding onto toppled onto the floor.

Madam Wasser was onto us suddenly. "Quiet girls! That was your first warning!"

Elle mumbles out an apology, her face red, and bends down to pick up the books. She sends me a glare.

"What makes you say that?"

"C'mon Elle, I'm not as blind as a bat."

"I uh, no. Of course not. Archie? Please."

"Elleeee," I whine and grab hold of her before she can run off. "I saw the way you looked at him last year, and it's the same again. I'm your best friend. And to be honest, I'm quite angry that you never told me."

She looks at me grimly and moves back to the bookcase, her hands shaking slightly. "I don't even know…" She whispers and looks around the large room, as if checking that no one can hear. "It was after that incident with the quaffle, do you remember? Just seeing him in the hospital wing like a poor puppy made me feel all these… feelings?" She sighs once more and we move along the aisle, going further in. "And then after… just everything he did, every time he spoke. I got fucking _shivers. _He drives me mad."

She sees me snickering and pushes me slightly. We laugh and I just want to squeal and jump up and down on my bed and throw pillows at her because I've been waiting SO LONG for this moment, for her to finally confess!

"Hemmingway? Really?" A slithery voice interrupts us and we jump. I know that voice, the ghastly shivers that run up and down- not because of fear, but because of loathing. I take hold of my wand firmly in my pocket.

"Snape!" I say it as threateningly as I can without speaking too loudly. I'd kill this guy if we got a detention because of him.

"I wasn't addressing _you_." Even though he doesn't say it, I know he's thinking it. Mudblood. Freak. He turns to Elle again.

"Hemmingway wouldn't notice your affections even if Peeves shouted them at the top of the Astronomy tower." His snide comment makes my body shake with anger and before I'm even aware of it my wand is already out and ready.

"Lyons, please. Your petty little curses are no match for-"

"Snape! Get away from them before I turn you into a slime ball." Remus freaking Lupin, aka the guy who I saw URINATING, is standing there all high and mighty with his wand on Snape's back. His face is angry, maybe he doesn't remember who I am, and he doesn't put down his wand until Snape has slithered off our aisle. He turns back to us now and gives us a smile.

"Hullo Lyons, Pickle. You both alright?"

I'm surprised he knows our names. He's one of the 'it' Gryffindors, but he is apparently very nice and friendly to people.

"Fine thanks." Elle mumbles. She stands there awkwardly for a second and then looks at me shakily. "I'm g-gonna go and have a look further up the aisle for uh, books."

I'm stuck with Lupin now and the silence is irritating me. He's twirling his wand round his fingers and I realise I've been watching his long fingers dance for minutes. I clear my throat.

"I'm uhh… sorry about yesternight. You know with uh B-Black-"

I'm so relieved that he stops me. With Black what? What on earth would I have said?!

"Don't apologise." He's blushing and tugs down on his robes. "Err I was just a bit shocked that Sirius would use the bathroom for you know his um, ravenous-"

His words catch me by surprise and I'm laughing and can't stop. "Black and I?" I stuff my sleeve over my mouth to silence the chuckles, I don't want Wasser coming over again.

"Isn't that why you were…"

"I um. I was _drunk_. I thought it was the girls bathroom. And her err… he came in and then just after he told me you came in…"

Lupin grins and he's chuckling silently too. "Okay. I see." He checks his watch and says he needs to get going, running one of his hands through his light brown hair first. He gives me a smile and waves goodbye before turning around and leaving.

"Elle," I call out softly. "You still there?"

She returns in a matter of seconds. She doesn't say anything but I know what she's thinking. If Snape heard what she said… then it could be used against her. Snape was a nasty piece of work. He was cunning and was able to blackmail you if you weren't careful.

The next time she sees Archie she is back to her shy self. And Archie doesn't catch on at all.

Only a few hours later I find myself in a broom cupboard in a very awkward position with the one and only Stephen White. He figured this was the only place we wouldn't be seen. I would have preferred a dark corner of the library or somewhere in the Astronomy tower but as long as we're together then I don't mind. He cups my face with his hand gently and we kiss more than once. Seconds. Minutes. Each time we break off we come back and kiss harder. There's a mop behind me and it's so uncomfortable but there's nowhere else I can turn. His hands are stuck to my waist, I can feel his fingers itching to move either up or down but I'm thankful when he keeps them on my hips. I don't think I'm ready for that yet.

His kisses are wet and sloppy and yet they're so enticing and magical and I can't get enough of them. I'm so hungry for his kisses that I let out a surprised moan when his lips find themselves on my neck and –

**BANG!**

The door opens and there's no time (or space) to move quickly. We've already been seen. Black is standing there with his trademark grin visible for the world and heaven to see. I hardly notice the girl behind him. Her hair is immaculate and her raven locks are fitted neatly in a tight bun. She tugs at his arm impatiently and murmurs something in his ear.

"Guess this one is full then, have fun… Lyons, White." He winks at me again and I can't help but blush. Stephen's hands are still on me and our faces are still super close and I can still feel his hot breath against my neck.

"Did Black _wink_ at you?" We're back to the darkness of the cupboard but I suppose the mood has gone, thanks to Black.

I shrug my shoulders.

"He didn't seem very surprised. Did he know about us?"

When I don't answer again he pulls my face to his. He calls out my name harshly and repeats the question.

"I dunno… I err saw him at the party briefly." I don't mention that he saw us both leave together. I just want to go back to kissing but that sudden encounter with Black has made me feel all mushy and weird inside? I wanted people to know about me and Stephen. I didn't want it to be a secret. So why did I feel like this?

Stephen gets annoyed with me and we leave the broom closet, making sure no one sees us. I want to walk with him back to the common room but he shakes his head.

"I have to go to Quidditch practice." He says, checking his watch. "I'll catch you later." He doesn't even kiss me goodbye, just gives me a quick wave and turns before I can say anything.

My way to the common room is silent for a while until I'm face to face with Black. Or rather. I'm not entirely sure? I see Black standing in front of me, he's kissing the girl from before and now he hair is messed up and the bun has disappeared. But his eyes are open. He's staring at me as he kisses her. And these aren't slow and sweet kisses. Much like mine and Stephens they're hungry.

He finally stops kissing her and looks at me expectantly. "Can I help you?"

Perhaps I shouldn't have been staring at him. "Err I'm just making my way back to the common room." I point to the stairs, this is the only way towards the Hufflepuff common room anyhow. He nods at me but I can feel his burning gaze as I walk up the steps. I only feel safe from him when I finally make it to my dorm and already I'm not looking forward to tomorrow where I'll see him again. Black's face is tormenting me. His eyes. His smile. His hands. Secretly I cannot wait until I see him again. I count the hours until breakfast and find myself unable to stop thinking about him.


End file.
